Forgive me for not trusting You

Dear Lord,

Please forgive me.
I’m having control issues.
(You already know this.)

They come from trust issues.
(You know that, too.)

I believe that I trust you.
But then I find myself stressing
and worrying
and wondering
how you’re going to make everything work,
as if that’s in question.

You know how I secretly pray for trust–
I pray for trust,
and I wait to praise you after you make everything all right.
That’s not faith.
It’s not trust.

Oh, Lord,
I need your strength.
I am too weak,
too self-absorbed,
too afraid.
I want to trust you completely.

I confess my faithlessness to you.
You are the answer.
I know that.
You know my past, present, and future.
You aren’t upset with me,
disappointed with me,
or frustrated with me.
You’re not worried about what I will do
or not do,
what I believe or don’t believe.

You know that I am dust,
and yet I’m also a masterpiece,
according to you.

I don’t understand it.
Or you.
But I trust you.
I really want to trust you.
Even when I don’t,
I trust you.
Help me trust you.
Show yourself powerful in my life.

It’s all you.
You are amazing.
Amen.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)
You might want to check these confessions out, too:
“Confessions from a control-freak”
“My confession to you”