Playing more, laughing more, healing more

I want to play more. how about you?

My monthly newsletter, which is filled with articles, media, book and film recommendations, quotes, and inspiration, reached an all-time length this month. It’s really something you come back to over and over. The beginning of it challenged us to have fun, so that’s where I’m starting with this blog. Keep reading this blog for new stuff. You can sign up for the newsletter to come into your inbox at sueschlesman.com.

Sometimes, I just want to be a kid again. I want a simple life. I want to play Barbies and read Frances Hodgson Burnett books and eat cookies every day and play Four Square at recess. It’s too easy to be a grown-up and not make time to play.

Recently, Shane and I were moving a large and ridiculously heavy box of unassembled furniture through the church, and we had to put the box on a flatbed cart to get it upstairs. The box was longer than the cart, so I sat on top of the box to keep it from falling off the front of the cart.

The moment I crisscrossed my legs, I felt like a kid in a shopping cart; only instead of my mom cautiously winding her way through the grocery aisles, Shane careened around corners, racing for the elevator, trying not to hit walls on the way. And I was shrieking happily.

For those brief moments, everything was right in the world. We were truly ourselves.

That’s the interesting thing about childhood. If you’re blessed, you begin life fully and simply yourself.  I think it takes active play to stay that way. Of course, play has many definitions. Maybe as we age, we apply different ones.

play (n.) —fun or jest, as opposed to seriousness; an exercise or activity for amusement or recreation; action, activity, or operation; a space in which something, as a part of a mechanism, can move; freedom of movement within a space

Play is essential to life, joy, and happiness.

That would mean that when it comes to play, kids are smarter than adults. They know they can’t live without play. They wouldn’t even want to try. We grown-ups think it’s optional. Luxurious, even. That’s why we’re stressed. We could use a little Peter Pan syndrome.

“Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.”—Walt Disney

How do you know if you have a play problem?

1. You rarely play anything
2. You feel guilty when you play
3. You say your work is your play
4. Nobody plays anything with you
5. You talk about your work life and minimize your play life
6. You wait for the weekend, work, and then wait for the next weekend
7. You have an imagination problem
8. You’re annoyed or uncomfortable around kids
9. You’re really competitive or high-pressure about your kids’ activities
10. You don’t want to learn a new game or activity

april fools

I’m writing this on April Fool’s Day. I used to dread April 1 because my husband always felt the need to prank me. Example: while we were dating in college, Shane persuaded me that he was about to be unjustly expelled from school. He had me praying and crying over his wrongful-punishment until the laughter started. Why I overlooked this as a potential character flaw, I’ll never know. (But we’ve been married for 33 years, and we laugh more than we ever have, so I guess it turned out all right.)

After several years of quasi-traumatic April Fools pranks during our early marriage, Shane promised to drop the April Fools jokes on me and direct his torture elsewhere. This afternoon (a Saturday), he called all his direct-reports and told them to come in tonight for an emergency meeting. I could hear him outside on the patio, laughing his head off as they called back, one by one, panicked, asking about the nature of the meeting.

In most cases, his team appreciated the joke. But as you know, not all humor is appreciated equally.

why humor matters

Humor is so necessary. Science proves that laughter reduces stress. It stimulates your major organs,  alleviates tension, and activates your relax responses. Laughter calms you and sends positive endorphins throughout your body.

Play is necessary. For children, play teaches problem-solving and creativity. Maybe that’s why work gets weary for us adults—often we squeeze the play out of it to make more room to get more work done.

As Roald Dahl (writer of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and James and the Giant Peach) said, “Life is more fun if you play games.” Let’s play more and play better.

Here are some suggestions for adults in danger of losing their playfulness:

1. Sit on the floor with little kids and play whatever they’re playing
2. Pull out the card and board games; rope in friends
3. Try learning something competitive, like pickleball or corn hole–anything you can do regularly and easily
4. Sign up for a class: art, exercise, music, dance, whatever–try something new, even if you’re terrible at it
5. Take up a sport you’ve enjoyed before, like golf, biking, or tennis
6. Play music with the family
7. Tell jokes; tease; impersonate—create ways to laugh with other people
8. In stressful situations, find a way to see the humor in it

We watch a good deal of stand-up, sit-coms, and comedic films in our home. We impersonate each other. We have some dry humor (aka sarcasm) floating around. We still tickle, wrestle, and grab. We smother when necessary.

I find that the more we laugh, the deeper we love. The more we laugh at ourselves, the less stress we experience. And when we laugh before we fall asleep at night, we sleep more peacefully.

Laugh today, as much as you can.

“The body heals with play, the mind heals with laughter, and the spirit heals with joy.”–Unknown