Toilets & other things that spill over
Toilets & other things that spill over
We’ve had a few house floods in our life–hurricane stuff, backed-up pipes. All of it is stressful. Two times, our entire basement flooded (two different houses). Recently, we had a very small-scale flood with similarly-annoying consequences.
A couple weeks ago, as we were about to leave for work, we discovered a disgusting overflowing toilet whose internal mechanism had failed. Besides the bowl overflowing, the tank had run water for hours while we slept and got ready in another part of the house. The water overflowed not just the tank and toilet, but it covered the bathroom, seeped through our flooring and pouring gallons of water into the guest room beneath.
I responded poorly. I freaked out. I cried. I ran around the house, panicked, collecting towels. Rubber-gloved and with an attitude, I scrubbed floors and walls. I collected baskets of sodden, smelling bedding. I despaired about the complete upheaval of my work day. I disinfected, discarded, complained, burned candles. I packed up the guest room and moved everything to different parts of the house and garage.
Builders and plumbers came and inspected our situation, clicking their tongues and shaking their heads. They’ve seen this before: a little problem that creates a huge mess. I remember last year, when a plumber told me that the tank mechanism was going to break completely. One day, this toilet would eventually malfunction. We should replace it sooner rather than later.
We didn’t replace it because he got it working again, and it seemed okay. Not powerful, but okay.
I procrastinated, ignored the problem, and assumed it would be fine until we remodeled this old bathroom (which may never happen). This flood could have been prevented with a simple $200 toilet.
A remediation team came and set up big blowers to dry out the ceiling and floors. We lived for several days in a hot, noisy airplane hangar.
Next, repairmen arrived to take down the ceiling and inspect our 60-year-old pipes that have been struggling to function in these 20-degree temperatures. They have to replace our guest room ceiling, which means drywall dust, priming, painting, fixing adjoining walls.
All from one neglected toilet.
Whatever we ignore will overflow.
Crappy overflow (literally and figuratively) is always the warning sign that a bigger problem has happened.
When I see these things happening in my life (which several have lately), I realize that I’ve been ignoring regular maintenance procedures in a number of areas in my life.
Do any of you have bouts of–
- anger, resentment
- exhaustion, brain fog
- impatience
- fears and phobias
- venting, gossiping
- blame-shifting, scapegoating
- suspicion, negative assumptions
- negative thinking, self-degradation
- naivety, resistance of reality
- addictions to anything you can’t go without for a few days
- procrastination
- insomnia
- anxiety
- lethargy, lack of energy and will
When destructive actions and attitudes spill over into my normal life–when they disrupt positive, proactive progress–I need to stop, grab the emotional plunger, buckets, or towels, and 1) clean up the immediate mess and 2) call for professional help.
Then remove and replace that DYSFUNCTIONAL thing.
I’ve been fasting sugar for the last 40 days. (Confession: I did cheat a couple times). But for the most part, I was consciously reading labels and avoiding all added sugars, which really changes your eating, you know. Sugar is in everything, even non-sweet things. The process is inconvenient, but after I got used to it, I realized how much better I felt. No bloating. No acid reflux. No stomach aches. No sugar crashes.
But here’s the most important thing I discovered by cutting out something I love that’s actually harmful to me: there’s always another thing that’s screaming to take its place, like Netflix, social media, replacement foods (even fake sugar, in my case). Not to mention all the vices we know are bad for us. Cutting out something means looking at the reason this thing got out of control and highly necessary in the first place.
Like so many little problems in my life, it’s easier and “less stressful” to ignore and excuse minor issues rather than to proactively fix them. Do you find yourself making these decisions in your life because they seem like the easier route to take?
- only praying when you need something
- reading your Bible when you’re distraught, instead of every day
- seeing a counselor because you’re spiraling emotionally, instead of regulating yourself and getting help often
- exploding in anger instead of proactively discussing why you feel hurt
- going to church when you have time or feel sad, instead of going every week no matter what
- exercising to lose weight for a vacation or special event instead of exercising regularly so you’re healthy
- using media, coffee, alcohol, or food to detach from reality, to give yourself addictive pleasure moments
I remember my mom quoting, “Little foxes spoil the vines.”
She was a great lover of maxims, so I always assumed this was said by Benjamin Franklin or Aesop, and it probably was. As it turns out, the saying originates with Solomon (Song of Songs 2:15).
Foxes ruins vineyards because they dig at the roots, trample the vines, and snap off the grapes. Bite by bite and hole by hole, those pesky cute little foxes tear apart a structure that takes at least three years to produce its first harvest of grapes. A busy vine-grower might not notice all the damage to the vines until it’s too late to save them.
Most catastrophes in our lives happen after warning signs have gone unnoticed or unheeded.
A marriage falls apart after years of neglect. A child slips into addictive behavior after years of insecurity, depression, or abuse. A partnership splinters after years of competition or jealousy. Financial security dissipates after years of foolish spending. We all know the principles of cause-and-effect, of preparation and neglect.
But we all think we are the exceptions to the rule.
After a day of dealing with toilet water and its aftermath, I wrote out four parts of response to a crisis :
- What I do instinctively–My initial human reaction. I freaked out, angry & frustrated. I had a chance to respond with grace and trust, but I didn’t.
- Why I do this–The motivator/instigator of that response: entitlement. There’s always opportunity to respond with perspective and thankfulness.
- What I should do–My spiritual response—I thank God for his generosity, grace, & mercy. I should’ve started here, at Step 1. I have a scarcity mindset rather than an abundance mindset. A crisis is always a chance to respond in faith and action.
- How I fight–Biblical command —Psalm 66:12 & Psalm 36:7-9 (which ironically talk about water overflowing!). This is a chance to respond with confidence and purpose. It should’ve been my Step 2.
We all have triggers that send us into emotional and spiritual tailspins. You know how you naturally operate, where you are easily overwhelmed, angry, and spinning away from God’s control. Pay attention to those vines. Protect those vines and the fruit that struggles to grow there.
In life, everything is either fueled by proaction or reaction. Even toilets.
