Understanding myself is messy
Lord God,
I’ve been upset about something for awhile
and I’ve prayed for clarity and wisdom.
I have not been able to figure out what to do or why something has happened.
You gave me clarity.
You sorted the mess with me.
I inquired of you,
I sought counsel,
and I opened myself up to the possibility
that I was mistaken and defensive,
that my conclusions were incorrect.
You helped me humble myself.
You gave me insight.
You spoke.
I wonder how many times I miss what you’re saying because I’m so sure that I’m right?
Instead of seeking wisdom and perspective,
I look for someone to agree with me.
I seek validation.
I seek vindication.
I see a mess even though you’ve drawn a clear path to knowing you better.
I am so proud.
I wonder at your willingness to forgive and direct me.
Thank you.
I am awed by your mercy and grace,
as well as your forgiveness
and your continued pursuit to use me.
Every time I learn something new about myself,
I learn something new about you.
I adore you.
In Jesus’ humble and powerful name,
Amen.