When you keep doing the same sin

Have you noticed that you struggle with the same bad habits,
over and over?
Maybe it’s your temper, your insecurity, your selfishness, or your critical tongue.
Deep down, you know they’re not even habits.
They’re sins.

This happens to me.
I make this happen, by my own choices.

Every time I try to pray,
I feel this weight.
At first, I can’t tell why I feel this way
or why my prayers seems to bounce right back.
Then I realize I’m sinning again.
I’m doing the same things I always do when my soul isn’t full of righteousness.

Of course, I want to confess it and stop doing it.
But I feel ashamed that I’m about to pray the same prayer again,
confess the same sin,
and enter the same battle.

I have a decision to make:
I can humble myself and confess my sin,
and start working to change,

or

I can give up.
I can say “This is me.
This is just the way I am.”
I can pretend that change isn’t possible,
even though I know it is.
I can assume that God is tired of hearing me tell him I’m sorry
and I don’t want to be like this.
I can just keep doing the same thing because it’s too hard to make the corrections.

I experience this choice a lot.
Maybe you do, too.

Today, I choose to humble myself.
Again.

Lord God,
Please forgive me for _________________.
I know you love me and you’ll always hear a humble heart,
so I’m humbling myself right now
and saying I can’t move on without you.
I need your power.
Forgive me.
Change me.
Renew me.
I’ll change direction.
I’ll put _____________ off (Eph. 4:22-31)
and put on the opposite.
I’ll rely on your Spirit for my strength instead of my own will-power.
I will try to be more like Jesus, through internal change (Rom. 12:1-2),
by renewing my mind and pursuing you.
In Jesus’ holy name,
Amen.

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)